So, That’s All You Do Is Knit?

“So, is that knitting you’re doing?”, asked a lady dressed in a business suite who just sat down across from me at the doctor’s office.

“Why, yes it is.”, I responded.

“Must be some serious stress at work that got you knitting that fast.”

“Oh no, I don’t work. I just really enjoy knitting. The speed just came naturally over time.”

“You don’t work? So, that’s all you do is knit?”

(At this point there are several responses going on in my head that I would like to say to her, but the better part of me says I shouldn’t be rude, so I go with my usual response):

“Well, I’m also a dedicated housewife and do my best to take care of my family.”

“Must be nice to not have to do anything with your life.”

(Yes, I know what you are thinking and despite the fact we were in a doctor’s office and she would recieve immediate medical attention, I still felt it would be inappropriate to stab her with my knitting needle. Besides, I was knitting with wool. Do you realize how hard it is to get blood stains out of wool? No, I refrained myself and simply responded):

“Yes, it is very nice.”

I’ve had my share of people stating that same question, “So, that’s all you do is knit?”, as if such a thing was impossible to wrap one’s brains around. Of course that’s not all I do. But it is something I do a lot and surprisingly it a skill that many people- both in the past and present- have been able to do as a full-time profession.

Since I’m way too nice to say to people what I really want to say, I’ll share my thoughts with you on how I really would like to respond to the question, “So, that’s all you do is knit?” (Please feel free to add your own responses to the list):

“So, that’s all you do is knit?”

– No, I occasionally poop and pee too!

– Yes, because it keeps me from biting strangers.

– No. I also know how to kill people and hide the bodies.

– Yes, or the people in my head start to get really angry if I don’t.

– No. In my spare time I’m also working on a cure for people who ask stupid questions.

– Yes. It was either this or give blowjobs for a living.

– No. This is just a part-time gig. My true profession is underwater basket weaving.

– Yes, but only because it’s a requirement for being a part of the witness protection program.

– No. I also like to count how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

– Yes. but I only do it until the Prozac kicks in.

– No. I my spare time I’m also practicing to become a professional masturbator.

(Sidenote- I’m cracking up over the search tags I’ve added for this posting. Google search engine is going to look at this and go WTF!)

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One Stash, Two States

I recently had the chance to visit my second yarn stash in the  located in the next state over. I would never wish such an arrangement on any knitter, but for me this arrangement is working out. The upside to having yarn in two different states is that absence really makes the heart grow fonder.

I had forgotten what beautiful yarns I own. There is a bag of seven skeins of wool waiting to be made into a blanket.  I have enough yarn left over from my last Harry Potter scarf project to make another one. And the amount of colorful acrylics staring up at me when I look into the stash is enough to make a young knitter blush.

As much as I would like to pack it all up and have this stash join its friends the next state over, I can only take a few balls of yarn with me for now.  My stashes are separated for a good reason- though that doesn’t help the sadness that I feel when I have to leave one of my stashes behind.

Hopefully, some day in the near future, my two stashes will be reunited. But until then, I will continue to be the traveling knitter, living my life between two states- and two stashes.

Knitwear As Art

If you love couture fashions and enjoy seeing someone push the limits on what knitting and crochet can do, then you need to know Sandra Backlund. Go to her sight and bookmark it. Trust me, you’ll come back to her sight often.

The Work of Sandra Backlund

Don’t Make Me Pull Out My Spinning

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Yes, as you can see, I’ve broken out the spinning again. It seems to happen whenever everyone around me are having ‘over the top’ problems and they all seem to drag me into them.

My hubby knows the signs- I start drinking coffee, I stay up late playing kill the alien computer games and I sigh loudly every time the phone rings. My kindness starts to wear thin and at some point I announce that I want to move to France and not come back until everyone figures out their lives and stop putting me in the middle of all their drama.

Then my wonderful hubby kindly recommeds I just go M.I.A. and stop answering the phone and door. I entertain the thought for a moment, but then remember my crafty solution. I start spinning.

It is amazing the power of spinning around non-spinners. Your best friend finds it difficult to talk about her problems with boyfriend #23 when you are spinning wool in front of her. Your other friend gets too distracted by the swirling spindle to remember to launch into his two hour conversation about how all his problems in life stem from his strained relationship with his mother.

When people call with the ‘I-really-don’t-care-because-I-only-called-to-talk-about-myself’ “How are you doing?”, and I tell them that I’m having fun spinning today, well, that statement leaves them a bit speechless and shortens our conversation a lot.

I think in our society, people seem to associate spinning as something people do who are not all their in the head or mentally unstable. Let’s face it, in the age of iPads and Kindles, anyone spinning looks like a freak. So, people who see me spinning usually talk a bit softer to me and are generally nicer too. My friends all back off, assuming I must be on the verg of a mental breakdown and I do get the benefit of less stress from having less drama in my life.

I highly recommend that the next time someone in your life comes through the front door with that, ‘stop-everything-you-are-doing-because-my-life-and-my-over-dramatized-problems-are-much-more-important-then-you’ attitude, pour the two of you some tea, break out your spinning and then see what happens.