“So, is that knitting you’re doing?”, asked a lady dressed in a business suite who just sat down across from me at the doctor’s office.
“Why, yes it is.”, I responded.
“Must be some serious stress at work that got you knitting that fast.”
“Oh no, I don’t work. I just really enjoy knitting. The speed just came naturally over time.”
“You don’t work? So, that’s all you do is knit?”
(At this point there are several responses going on in my head that I would like to say to her, but the better part of me says I shouldn’t be rude, so I go with my usual response):
“Well, I’m also a dedicated housewife and do my best to take care of my family.”
“Must be nice to not have to do anything with your life.”
(Yes, I know what you are thinking and despite the fact we were in a doctor’s office and she would recieve immediate medical attention, I still felt it would be inappropriate to stab her with my knitting needle. Besides, I was knitting with wool. Do you realize how hard it is to get blood stains out of wool? No, I refrained myself and simply responded):
“Yes, it is very nice.”
I’ve had my share of people stating that same question, “So, that’s all you do is knit?”, as if such a thing was impossible to wrap one’s brains around. Of course that’s not all I do. But it is something I do a lot and surprisingly it a skill that many people- both in the past and present- have been able to do as a full-time profession.
Since I’m way too nice to say to people what I really want to say, I’ll share my thoughts with you on how I really would like to respond to the question, “So, that’s all you do is knit?” (Please feel free to add your own responses to the list):
“So, that’s all you do is knit?”
– No, I occasionally poop and pee too!
– Yes, because it keeps me from biting strangers.
– No. I also know how to kill people and hide the bodies.
– Yes, or the people in my head start to get really angry if I don’t.
– No. In my spare time I’m also working on a cure for people who ask stupid questions.
– Yes. It was either this or give blowjobs for a living.
– No. This is just a part-time gig. My true profession is underwater basket weaving.
– Yes, but only because it’s a requirement for being a part of the witness protection program.
– No. I also like to count how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.
– Yes. but I only do it until the Prozac kicks in.
– No. I my spare time I’m also practicing to become a professional masturbator.
(Sidenote- I’m cracking up over the search tags I’ve added for this posting. Google search engine is going to look at this and go WTF!)