Just Breath


I do apologize for being a day late in my posting. I did have good reason.

A new toy was delivered to me yesterday and I spent most of my time after its delivery learning how to operate it and showing it off to my friends.

If you don’t recognize the image in the picture, it is an oxygen machine.

Now, before any of you start getting worried, no I don’t have problems breathing. My lungs are just fine. So why the oxygen machine then?

Well, its more for prevention. You see, when we are sleeping our oxygen level drops. More often than not, my Sickle Cell crisis happens when I’m asleep- waking me up with server pain. So the thought is that if I can keep my oxygen at a higher level at night, then maybe I can reduce my evening pain episodes.

Notice the green tubing coming from the machine? My Boy Toy commented that there is nothing sexier than a woman with lime green oxygen tubing wrapped around her face. I’ll be looking into a different color of tubing.

My Boy Toy also suggested I knit a cozy for the machine. I haven’t seen any patterns for oxygen machine cozies but I’m sure there is some talented knitter or crocheter out there who has felt the need to make one.

Now I’m looking forward this week to putting  one of those scary signs in my front window that warns, No Smoking- Highly Flammable Oxygen Machine. I even warned my Boy Toy to leave the house when he has one of his explosive farts for fear he might blow the whole house up.

In case you wanted to know, my ounce of prevention weighs in at a hefty 50 pounds and comes with two old-fashion air tanks in case there’s a power outage.

Despite the youthful appearance of the nice man who delivered the machine, nothing says you’re old like an oxygen machine in the bedroom.

Boy Toy: Even though you  have an oxygen machine I still know how to take your breath away.

Liver Chick: Oh yeah? How?

Boy Toy: Tie a knot in your tubing.

Liver Chick: Thanks honey.

Boy Toy: (laughing)

Top Ten Reason Why Sickle Cell Sucks Balls

As I am laying here waiting for my drugs to kick in I can’t help but to think about just how much I hate having Sickle Cell Anemia. I know, I should be grateful that it’s not something worse. I should be thankful that I have a full head of hair and not have cancer that would cause it to all fall out due to treatment. And yes, I am thankful I don’t have any STD, because the thought of carrying that kind of luggage and not being able to have sex, well. . . I would just recommend to everyone to start buying stock in the sex toy industry because I would blow their sells through the roof.

Yes, I am thankful that things are not worse, but that doesn’t stop me from getting pissed off at what I do have to face. So, here are my top ten reasons why Sickle Cell Disease sucks balls:

10. Because stupid people keep calling it a ‘black’ disease when it affects people of ALL colors and races. (Diseases don’t racial profile, only people do!)

9. Because doctors always assume I’m a drug addict because of how much I know about pain killers. I only know about them because I need them to survive!

8. Because a Sickle Cell crisis always happens at the worst time- like two days before graduation or the night before my wedding.

7. Because once you say the word ‘disease’, even the cute guy’s flunky ugly friend doesn’t want to date you.

6. Because no body likes the ‘sick kid’ on their team.

5. Because even though Sickle Cell is one of the oldest diseases known to men it is also the most ignored. No Awareness + No Funding= No Cure

4. Because I will never be able to  see Paris due to the fact that my body can’t handle the flight without going into a crisis.

3. Because IV’s and blood transfusion bags never look good on anyone.

2. Because I hate the look of frustration and anger on my Boy Toy’s face because he knows there is nothing he can do to take my pain away.

1. Because I can’t knit when I’m in this much pain!!!!

And Other Drugs

So, I just finished watching “Love and Other Drugs”, starring Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal. I never got to watch it when it was in theaters, so had to wait for it on Netflix.

It was a wonderful movie full of delicious eye candy of have nude Anne and Jake, (Jake, your ass looks hot in any camera angle, just thought you should know). But The major part of the movie that made me cry like a baby was Anne’s character, Maggie.

I so related to Maggie with her disease. Relationships were not my thing because I just couldn’t see anyone wanting to be with me, knowing that with my disease I would get worse, not better, over time. Relationships are about being able to lean on each other- you know, when one is weak, the other is strong. But who on God’s green earth would knowingly walk into a relationship where most of the burden would be one-sided?

So, I built up my brick wall for my own protection and walked into relationships prepared for the break-up. Guys would say, “Baby, you know I’ll be there for you”. Which is very easy to say when I was going out with them partying and having fun. But when I was laying in the hospital with an IV  in one arm and a blood transfusion in the other, well, those same guys couldn’t find the exit fast enough.

At a certain point I got to where on the first date I would drill the guy with a set of questions that would determine if there would be a second date:

“Have you ever heard of Sickle Cell Disease?”

“If someone you cared about was in the hospital, what would you do?”

“What if the person you married got sick to the point they couldn’t work anymore and you had to take care of them, what would you do?”

“Do you think, if you really loved someone, that you could marry them, knowing they had a life-threatening disease?”

Not exactly the warm and fuzzy conversations most people have on first dates, but I wanted to cut to the chase. I really had no time to play around or try to ease the person into the reality of my life. Needless to say, my approach lead to few date offers. But on the plus side, I faced very few disappointments.

Then my Boy Toy walked into my life. Other the course of the next seven years, AND  against my own will I might add- I fell in love. I fell in love with someone who made me laugh, who was interested in what I had to say, and for a few moments in my life, made me forget that I was sick. So, I did what any sensible girl would do when they find themselves falling in love. I freaked the hell out! We argued. We broke up. We got back together. We broke up. We got back together. Then my Boy Toy moved to another state. We went our separate ways and I tried to get on with my life.

Then on an ordinary day he called me out of the blue and asked if I’d come visit him. I still don’t know for the life of me what made me say yes, but I did and while I was there he proposed to me. I explained to the idiot what he was getting himself into, but then he said the following:

“Many people have given me advice on why I shouldn’t marry you. There is the whole race issue, but it is  mainly because you have a disability. But I decided that I can’t live my life following other people’s  advice. I have to live it following my heart. And my heart tells me that I can’t live without you. So I don’t care if its fifty years or only five years, what ever time God has left for you here on Earth, I want to live it with you.”

Now, would you be so kind as to excuse me while I go get some Kleenex for my face and then go make love to my Boy Toy like there’s no tomorrow!



I Have Returned

Hello Everyone!

Did you miss me? Sorry for my unexpected absence these last few days. I’ve been in a percocet induced haze for the last few days due to my Sickle Cell Anemia. I did attempt to blog during my episode and was so thankful in taking the advice from my Boy Toy of saving all my entries as drafts instead of posting them. Now that my mind is clear I’ve read over all my entries and deleted them all. Why? Well, lets just say that percocet and blogging do not mix!

So, I’ve decided that instead of trying to back-post in order to meet my post-day challenge, I would just forgive myself for those few days missed and continue from here.

Thank you for those who continued to visit my blog everyday while I was alway. It’s always nice to know that you’ve been missed.