Well?

Well….

I finally got some really cute pictures of my Boy Toy wearing my first ever male socks. And, of course I can’t show them to you because the swatch for it is being sent off for consideration in another knitting magazine.

My room looks like a giant mutant yarn moster stumbled into it after having way too many jager and redbull shots and threw up all over the place. There is yarn everywhere- but in the oh so wrong kind of way.

I just found my bobbin lace pillow, finished the lace edging that’s been hanging off that thing for like the past three years and have now started another lace piece. (Yes, I do bobbin lace. Unlike Latin, its not completely a dead artform. And once I take over the world with my two needle knitting I will then require all scholl age children to spend two hours a day learning bobbin lace. Yes, I AM an evil dictator!)

The Boy Toy has finally raised the white flag saying he has given up on trying to understand how I can have so many different craft projects going on at the same time. “I still can’t pat my head and rub my belly at the same time. How the hell do you manage to do so many things at once?”

After several tall adult drinks, I think I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that unless someone is willing to give me an all expenses paid trip, I will not be going to Sock Summit this year. (Wait, I think I may need another drink. The pain is starting to come back.)

I just realized that once my sock design gets published I still need to come up with a plan to get three TNNA members to write letters of introduction for me. Anyone out there willing to volunteer? I’m willing to send a free pair of hand knitted socks to you for your time. (Yes, I will stoop so low as to knit my way into TNNA. I am never above grovaling!)

And, well…

I’m working on another sock design that I will try to post here on the blog next week. Yup, its going to be a free one, yeah!!!

 

Socks Before Husbands

After all the celebration from yesterday, it was time to settle down and get back to work. I’m still working on that pair of men’s socks that I mentioned to you before. I want to make sure I get them in well before the Knitty.com deadline.

My Boy Toy will reluctantly be my model for the socks.

Boy Toy: “Do I need to shave my legs?”

Liver Chick: “No, you can just stay all natural.”

Boy Toy: “But my legs are so white! Maybe I should go get one of those fake tans or something.”

Liver Chick: “Yes and have your legs look like a pair of over-baked french loaves?”

Boy Toy: “Better than them looking like the first stage of rigamortis.”

Liver Chick: “Your legs are fine.”

Boy Toy: “Wait, what if someone recognizes me?”

Liver Chick: “I’m not taking a full picture of you. It’s just your feet and legs.”

Boy Toy: “But someone could still recognize me.”

Liver Chick: “Yes, because you have done oh so many fashion spreads that your legs are now as recognizable as J-Lo’s butt.”

Boy Toy: “What, you didn’t know I was a leg model in my youth? Seriously, what if one of my ex-girlfriends see the picture and realize its me.”

Liver Chick: “So, you’re saying your ex-girlfriends were on their knees so much that they would be able to recognize your knees and feet?”

Boy Toy: “Well….”

Liver Chick: “Or will they have to turn the picture upside down because they’re more use to your legs being up in the air?”

Boy Toy: “Okay, that’s just nasty! I don’t even want to think about where you’re going with that one.”

Liver Chick: “Hey, you were the one talking about ex-lovers recognizing your legs.”

Boy Toy: “I was just saying. Maybe I should shave.”

Liver Chick: “No shaving!”

Boy Toy: “But I’m so hairy. I have freaking bear legs.”

Liver Chick: “No shaving. No tanning. And if some ex-girlfriend recognizes your legs, we’ll deal with it on Jerry Springer! I just want to take a cute picture of you wearing my socks, that’s all.”

Boy Toy: “This is not going to be one of those pictures that some jaded knitter is going to try to blackmail me with later when I run for president?”

Liver Chick: “Yes, forget that you balanced the country’s budget and ended poverty in America. Your entire presidency will crumble and fall all due to this one picture of you wearing my socks.”

Boy Toy: “It could happen. Besides, you women are evil like that. Walking around with two sharp pointy things in your purse and a ball of yarn. At any moment you could drop a stitch, snap under the pressure, then stab someone to death with your needles in frustration and then use your yarn to wrap them like a mummy.”

Liver Chick: “And that is why you can never divorce me.”

Boy Toy: “No. I’ll just leave the country and then serve you divorce papers.”

Liver Chick: “You do remember, they allow knitting needles on planes again.”

Boy Toy: “Crap!”

Liver Chick: “I love you too, honey. Now try on this sock.”