Wanted to give you a little sneak peak of what my fingers have
been working on. Be patient my pretties. Soon all will be revealed.
Wanted to give you a little sneak peak of what my fingers have
been working on. Be patient my pretties. Soon all will be revealed.
I’m running around like crazy now, trying to catch up with myself. It’s a wonderful thing going on here at the Liver Chick Knits compound. Even my yarn stash is excited.
As you see, I’ve changed my blog theme. I’ve always liked the look of black and white with splashes of red.
I’m getting excited about what I have in store for all of you. I just got finished with one photo shoot yesterday and I’ll be cropping photos and writing descriptions for the next couple of days. Another photo shoot is planned for next week. After all the photos are in and descriptions written, I’ll be able to launch the improved Liver Chick Knits.
I’ll be giving you some teasers (in the form of photos) throughout the coming days. I think you are going to like what’s in store.
(On an ordinary Saturday afternoon, Liver Chick and Boy Toy are walking the neighborhood, enjoying the wonderful weather in the valley. They suddenly walk by a cotton field close to their home.)
Liver Chick: I should pick some cotton.
Boy Toy: What did you just say?
Liver Chick: I said I should pick some cotton. I want to spin some into yarn. The harvest is over, so what’s left is free for the taking.
(Boy Toy takes Liver Chick by the arm and holds her hand up to her face.)
Boy Toy: Honey, do you see what color you are?
Liver Chick: Yes. I’m black. So?
Boy Toy: Right. Which means you can’t pick cotton.
Liver Chick: Well that’s not fair. It shouldn’t matter what color I am. I’m allowed to pick cotton.
Boy Toy: Yes dear. And I’m sure your ancestors who went through 500 years of slavery being forced to pick cotton would be so proud to see you picking cotton now.
Liver Chick: Just because I’m black doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be allowed to pick cotton.
Boy Toy: I bet there is some confederate slave owner rolling in his grave right now hearing you say that.
Liver Chick: Why should I have to order my cotton from some online company when there is some perfectly good and free cotton right around the corner from my house?
(Boy Toy stops and puts his hands on Liver Chick’s shoulders)
Boy Toy: Honey, you can’t pick cotton. Remember, then whole slavery thing? The civil rights movement? We shall overcome? Free at last, free at last, thank God almight we are free at last? Blacks don’t pick cotton anymore.
Liver Chick: So, if I was any other color but black, I could pick cotton?
Boy Toy: Yes.
Liver Chick: Well that’s just racist.
Boy Toy: I seriously doubt the NAACP would support you in fighting that case. Sorry honey, but you just can’t pick cotton.
Liver Chick: But I want to pick it! You can just stand here and watch while I pick some.
Boy Toy: Are you crazy!?! Yes honey, let’s have me, the Hitler-baby-looking-white-boy stand here and watch a black girl pick cotton. Every civil rights group will be at our door tomorrow ready to kick my ass. I can see the front page of Yahoo.com now- White man makes his black wife pick cotton, Slavery alive and well in Arizona.
Liver Chick: Just be my look-out. No one will find out. I’ll just take a little. Please honey. Please!
(Boy Toy looks around and checks to make sure no one is looking)
Boy Toy: Okay, pick some quick.
(Liver Chick snatches a few pieces of cotton off the broken cotton plants and admires the pieces in her hands)
Boy Toy: Don’t stop to look at it, hurry up and hide it before someone sees you. I swear woman, if I get lynched for this I’m coming back as a ghost and haunting you.
(Liver Chick gives Boy Toy a hug and a kiss on the lips)
Liver Chick: Thank you honey. I love you.
Boy Toy: Great, when the guys ask me at work what I did this weekend I can tell them I took my wife out cotton picking.
Liver Chick: Just tell then we were roll-playing.
Boy Toy: Oh yes, we like to play slave and master all the time. It really turns my wife on.
Liver Chick: Yeah, we’re kinky like that.
(Liver Chick and Boy Toy continue there walk. Liver Chick makes a mental note to start taking night walks in order to pick more cotton.)
I ordered Chinese food last night. One of the highlights of any such meal is the fortune cookies I mean, that’s the reason we order the food is to get the cookies, right? . My Boy Toy likes to read his fortune aloud and end it with the words, ‘in bed’. For example, his fortune cookie read, ” You will grow in wisdom and physical strength ‘in bed’. It puts a wonderful spin on the old fortunes. (Please, feel free to try this with your next fortune cookie.)
Well, I decided to do my own spin on it and make my fortune apply to knitting. I start each fortune with the words, ‘as you knit’. So, here is my knitting fortune for you:
“As you knit, be definite now, worry about precision later.”
The cookie has spoken.
I trust that you all had a wonderful holiday season. Now that I’ve recovered from the cotton-head feeling left by too much spiked eggnog and champagne, I think I can finally get back into the swing of things. (By the way, do you want to know a good cure for a hangover? Sangarias in the morning, baby!)
So, want to know what my New Year’s resolutions are for this year? Well, I decided this year to make more money and meet more cool people while doing what I love. Yup, that’s it. No diet plans or promises to watch my potty mouth. I could never go the whole 40 days of Lent without saying the F-word, so I wasn’t even going to fool myself into thinking I could go 365 days without it.
No, I’ve given up on disillusioning myself with the resolutions of having a body like Cindy, speaking a new language or sitting poolside somewhere in Italy drinking expensive wine. I’m more than content buying pants with elastic waistbands, impressing my friends by being able to order a Taco Bell Nacho Bell Grande without an english/spanish dictionary and drinking whatever wine was on sale at Costco/Sams Club while watching the Travel Channel.
This year I plan to be more relaxed and have more fun just being me. And of course, I plan to do way more knitting! Anyone care to join me?
I wanted to take this time to thank all of you for your humor, friendship and support this past year. This blog is such a blast and I hope that next year will be even better.
Whatever holidays you celebrate this season, please enjoy yourselves and make sure to at least do one thing that would make your mom blush. (You get extra points if you do something that would make your mom dis-own you for at least 24 hours.)
With the new year comes a list of new excuses to buy more yarn and knit more items. Have fun with the after-Christmas sales, but don’t go too crazy on wools. Remember, summer is just around the corner, so make sure to stock up on some cotton too.
I’ll be busy with my own family traditions this next couple of weeks. I also have the job of keeping my Boy Toy from going overboard with the Christmas cookies and spiced wine.
So, I am wishing all of you fun-filled holidays along with a new year full of yarn and enough time to knit everything your heart desires. See you all in 2012!!!!
Well, I am happy to say that another one of my designs have been accepted by a yarn company!
I’ve just mailed off the completed garments from the other yarn company and working on swatches for a few more submission deadlines coming up.
It feels good to have some work to do and get paid for doing it. Like my Theatre teacher often told me- “The only real difference between a professional and an amature is a paycheck”.
The interesting part about all this is trying to get my Boy Toy to understand the whole process of me being paid to play with yarn.
Boy Toy: So, let me get this straight. You draw some shit on paper, turn it in to some company and they pay you for it?
Liver Chick: Well, that’s part of it.
Boy Toy: So, I could get paid for drawing shit?
Liver Chick: It’s not shit. I draw pretty pictures.
Boy Toy: Okay, so lets say I draw some pretty shit on paper and send it in,….
Liver Chick: Stop calling it shit! Call it ‘stuff’ or something.
Boy Toy: Alright. So I draw some pretty shitty stuff on paper and turn it in. Then they pay me for it?
Liver Chick: Say that five times fast.
Boy Toy: Pretty shitty stuff, pretty shitty stuff, pretty shitty….
Liver Chick: No. You actually have to ‘make’ what you draw and give instructions on how you made it so other people can make it too.
Boy Toy: Well, that’s easy. I’ll just give it to you to make.
Liver Chick: Oh, how nice of you, honey. Make me do all the work while you get all the money? I don’t think so. If I do the work, then I get the money.
Boy Toy: No, that’s not how it works. Remember, we’re married. What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine.
Liver Chick: Um, I think that’s my line, honey.
Boy Toy: No, I remember specifically in our vows that you are to honor and obey me and give me all your money.
Liver Chick: Maybe those were the vows you heard when you got drunk and married that hooker in Vegas, but that is not how it goes in this house. If you get a design accepted by a yarn company then you’re gonna have to pick up your knitting loom and knit it yourself.
Boy Toy: But honey, you love me. And you suppose to do nice things for the people you love. So, if I get a design accepted, you’ll do it for me, right?
Liver Chick: Only if you agree to clean the toilets for a month.
Boy Toy: Never mind.
After all the celebration from yesterday, it was time to settle down and get back to work. I’m still working on that pair of men’s socks that I mentioned to you before. I want to make sure I get them in well before the Knitty.com deadline.
My Boy Toy will reluctantly be my model for the socks.
Boy Toy: “Do I need to shave my legs?”
Liver Chick: “No, you can just stay all natural.”
Boy Toy: “But my legs are so white! Maybe I should go get one of those fake tans or something.”
Liver Chick: “Yes and have your legs look like a pair of over-baked french loaves?”
Boy Toy: “Better than them looking like the first stage of rigamortis.”
Liver Chick: “Your legs are fine.”
Boy Toy: “Wait, what if someone recognizes me?”
Liver Chick: “I’m not taking a full picture of you. It’s just your feet and legs.”
Boy Toy: “But someone could still recognize me.”
Liver Chick: “Yes, because you have done oh so many fashion spreads that your legs are now as recognizable as J-Lo’s butt.”
Boy Toy: “What, you didn’t know I was a leg model in my youth? Seriously, what if one of my ex-girlfriends see the picture and realize its me.”
Liver Chick: “So, you’re saying your ex-girlfriends were on their knees so much that they would be able to recognize your knees and feet?”
Boy Toy: “Well….”
Liver Chick: “Or will they have to turn the picture upside down because they’re more use to your legs being up in the air?”
Boy Toy: “Okay, that’s just nasty! I don’t even want to think about where you’re going with that one.”
Liver Chick: “Hey, you were the one talking about ex-lovers recognizing your legs.”
Boy Toy: “I was just saying. Maybe I should shave.”
Liver Chick: “No shaving!”
Boy Toy: “But I’m so hairy. I have freaking bear legs.”
Liver Chick: “No shaving. No tanning. And if some ex-girlfriend recognizes your legs, we’ll deal with it on Jerry Springer! I just want to take a cute picture of you wearing my socks, that’s all.”
Boy Toy: “This is not going to be one of those pictures that some jaded knitter is going to try to blackmail me with later when I run for president?”
Liver Chick: “Yes, forget that you balanced the country’s budget and ended poverty in America. Your entire presidency will crumble and fall all due to this one picture of you wearing my socks.”
Boy Toy: “It could happen. Besides, you women are evil like that. Walking around with two sharp pointy things in your purse and a ball of yarn. At any moment you could drop a stitch, snap under the pressure, then stab someone to death with your needles in frustration and then use your yarn to wrap them like a mummy.”
Liver Chick: “And that is why you can never divorce me.”
Boy Toy: “No. I’ll just leave the country and then serve you divorce papers.”
Liver Chick: “You do remember, they allow knitting needles on planes again.”
Boy Toy: “Crap!”
Liver Chick: “I love you too, honey. Now try on this sock.”
Sorry, there was no post today. I was having server problems. Should be up and running much better now.
So last Thursday night I got to hang out at the Ravelry Happy Hour that happened at Stitches West.
Me, always the shy girl, stayed low-key and just enjoyed people watching.
I saw some familiar knitting celebrities such as Cookie A., Adrienne and Kristine from a Verb for Keeping Warm and Jessica, Casey & Mary-Heather from Ravelry, of course.
I was super excited to finally get my hands on one of those cool Ravelry ‘Hello my name is’ buttons that I always see people wearing.
Even though there was a cash bar there, I talked myself out of the liquor line realizing there might be some raised eyebrows seeing someone with the name, Liver Chick, drinking a long island ice tea.
I did meet a couple of nice people and got to see a parade of wonderful shawls & sweaters that people wore to the event.
I wasn’t able to attend any classes or go shopping at the market, but for a couple of hours I got to feel a little less like a solitary knitter and more like a member of kick-ass knitting family.