You’ve seen them. If not, stay around the craft long enough and you will. Some of you will be completely fascinated by it. You’ll want to know how to do it so badly that you’ll stop at nothing to learn. The rest of us, however, look at it and want to go running for the hills. I’ll be honest, there are some mad knitting and crochet skills out there that just downright scare the pee out of me.
Popcorn Rose Doily Designed by Ferosa Harold
Irish crochet is the crochet that sends all my crochet work running home with their tails tucked between their legs. It’s painfully beautiful. However, I stay away from it. Why? because I strongly believe that size 12 and size 00 steel crochet hooks are the work of the devil. Nothing should ever be crocheted that small.
Entrelac Vest by Kathryn Alexander
Entrelac has produced some of the funkiest knits I have ever seen. Every time I look at entrelac work I always want to ask, “Who was it that gave the bio-engineering professor a joint and then tried to teach them how to knit?” There just had to be some level of drug use involved when creating entrelac.
Vanessa Beaded Bag by Barbara Pratt
This should be illegal somewhere. No one should over indulge in crafting like this. Beaded knitted purses may be gorgeous to look at. But when I look at it, I don’t see the beauty and intricate craftmanship. Instead, I see someone who really needs to get out more often. Just the hours it takes to string all those beads. Hours of your life that You. Will. Never. Get. Back.
Filmy Fern Shawl by Margaret Stove
Hey, the spiders called and said they want their webs back. Seriously, why on earth should lace be knitted so thin that it can pass through the hole of a wedding ring? If your lace is so thin that when someone sneezes it blows halfway down the block, well, that’s just too thin. I love lace as much as the next person, but when the air I breathe weighs more than my shawl I’m wearing, that’s where I draw the line.
Afghan Sweater by Kaffe Fassett
Kaffe Fassett is not a knitting or crochet skill, but he does scare the pee out of me. I’ve heard of people producing strange works while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. But Kaffe thinks this stuff up when he’s sober. I’m scared. Hold me!
So, what mad knitting/crochet skills or designs have you come across that scare the pee out of you?